{4} years

best decision i ever made.

so glad i moved here to st g.

so glad i landed the job that i did so that i could meet this cute boy's mommy

glad that she was keen (and brave) enough to set us up.

it was history the night we met. craziness.

love you kaso! let's keep it going for many, many more years!

sealed the deal here.

exciting things to come...

Three birthday's have come and gone, Phew! Today is our anniversary (a post on all that mushy stuff later) and we still have Griffin's big 3rd birthday coming up. Kid turns 3 on a Sunday (poop) so we are having a marvelous Toy Story themed birthday party at a park the day before his actual bday. I am actually pretty excited about not having this little gig at my house. No cleaning, not much decorating, enough said. Not too super excited about the birthday theme but I will do my best to make it fun and love it! Just can't get over the fact that I will soon have a 3 year old. Pretty wild.

Next week we are headed to Disney! I think I am pretty excited about this trip but we will see how it goes. Ha. Not sure what kind of traveler Nolan is these days, yipes. Then the busy-ness will continue with all of the upcoming holidays! I actually love being busy so I am super excited about the next few months.

I am also so ready to break out the jeans, hoodies, socks and comfy shoes. I LOVE me some Fall and Winter. If only we weren't having record breaking highs right now. Blech. Kind of hard to get into the Fall spirit when you are wearing shorts and flip flops and sweating to death!

But Griff and I decorated anyway!


P.S. Kason and Griff love closing their eye's when I take their pics, drives me bonkers! And they know it :)

so long

I said goodbye to Facebook last week and it was the best thing that ever happened to me! I let that dang thing occupy way too much of my time. It feels so good to do other things with my free time. Not having Facebook will probably mean more blogging, which is perfectly okay with me. Seeing how this blog is used as a journal to document life happenings and my "deep" thoughts. Ha. I added my comments back so that I don't feel so anti-social and disconnected with friends and family. Feel free to comment but if not, it's perfectly okay with me! It takes time to comment and sometimes I don't have the time or don't have anything to say. I will continue to blog my heart out no matter if I get comments or not :) So don't feel obligated at all. If you are looking, then I am glad you do!

On to other things...

After 4 years of being in our ward (and never praying or speaking in sacrament, neither one of us) Kason finally got a calling! I have had the same calling for 3 years now and I LoVe what I do. It's about time they gave Kason one though, strange that it took so long? He is going to teach temple prep and although he thinks he won't be good at it, I think he will be amazing. So it looks like Sundays will get much busier and harder for us! Yiiipes.

big changes & no excuses girlfriend

Nolan is officially sleeping in Griff's room. Took the crib apart and drug it in there.


Not too sure that Griff is thrilled with the idea but get used to it, kid :) Can you say three bedroom house? Plus, Mommy needs a workout room while I am able to have one. With Daddy's crazy schedule and out of town work plans, this room will save my little life.



Now I have NO excuse not to get in tip top shape!

30's

Here I am. Thirty stinkin' years old. I am trying so so hard to embrace it and I think it's going alright so far. I have been thirty for a day now. Honestly, I really just can't believe my twenties are gone! Gone gone gone. Here I am thirties, let's be awesome.

Had no idea what my birthday plans were because we have so much going on in August, September and October. Then before I know it the holidays are here and I am stressed to the max! First is Kason's birthday, then Nolan's, then mine, then our anniversary and then Griffin's birthday. All basically in a matter of 2 months. Not to mention there are several extended family members who have birthdays and special dates in between all of these dates. It's bananas!!

{I am making a mental note about NOT having my third baby anywhere NEAR these months and no where near any of the October, November, December and January holidays. I think I would go crazy!! I know sometimes you can't really choose but I am choosing. Period. I want a spring baby and a wintery pregnancy, please. Thank you. I refuse to be pregnant in the summer for a third time. REfuse.}

Anywho....

So the 17th of September rolled around, still no clue about the bday plans, and Kason told me to pack my bag's pronto and that we were off to Vegas. We dropped the boy's off with Mema and Pepa (bless them) and we were off. The rest of the weekend went something like this:

turned 30 on Saturday! {the 18th}
cute hotel
shopping
two really good movies
amazing food
relaxation
tons of bonding and talking
laying poolside
phantom of the opera

Kason and I needed this so bad. Totally renewed and refreshed our relationship. Goodness, Phantom of the Opera is my favorite. It was the best part of the weekend. I think I know that play and the songs word for word, song for song. I love it so much that I cried at my favorite parts (not blubbering, just teary eyed). Emotional much? I am the girl that cries at concerts too. I am just so moved seeing amazing talent and songs/music just speak to me.

Had the perfect birthday weekend. 30 came and went so here I am...officially in my thirties!

Just call me Cougarlicious!

one year stats: little man

16% weight
59% height
49% head

All is well with Nolan boy! He let the doc do everything he needed to do today at his 1 year appointment. Little man seems so chubbs to me but is actually kind of a little guy. Doc B asked if I wanted to mix it up a little and give him shots and I said no thanks! He likes to razz me a little about not vaccinating but he understands my reasoning. Sometimes I am not so totally sure but I feel pretty darn good about not immunizing the kiddos. It helps that I don't have to go through that process [which would killllll me] and my kids LoVe going to the doctor. Not to mention Doc loves that my kids like him and don't scream the second they see him. Ha. Too funny. So all is well.

Just for fun
::Griff's one year stats::
52% weight
85% height
48% head

::birthday {party} boy::

~invites~

~decor~

~friends and family~

~treats and drinks~

~goodie bags::magnet and cookies~

~table~

~rock cupcakes~

~birthday chair~





Nolan was so perfect today. I swear he realized it was his special day because he was beaming and smiley all day long. He loved seeing all of the decor and balloons strewn about. He waited and watched out the window for people to come. I am dead serious when I say it seemed like he knew. I remember Griff being utterly clueless at his first birthday. Nolan is just an old soul. Little man just gets life and understands things.

His birthday party was really fun for me to plan. Thanks to my amazing Momma for her help and some thoughtful ideas. Even though she wasn't here she gave me pep talks the whole way through via speakerphone while I freaked out making the icing for the cupcakes. I am NOT the creative party planner type. NO sirree. And she is usually here in person helping me with events of this nature!

We invited close friends and family and it was really relaxing and low key. A lot of Nolan's little buddies have siblings Griffin's age so he was able to have some fun as well. Griff has been so sweet to Nolan all day long. He also knew it was Nolan's special day because we talked a lot about it. Griff helped me out by bringing all of our construction themed toys out to the front room for the kids to play with. They were a hit! We played, sang Happy Birthday and ate some cupcakes with candy rocks on top. Then we opened presents with lots of help from Griffin and played some more.

I ended the evening by rocking Nolan to sleep and singing Happy Birthday to him. I held him, loved on him and rocked him while I reminisced his sweet little birth one year ago today. Makes my heart so happy to think about the moment I first met the little guy.

So glad you came to us Nolan. You are the sweetest thing and we can't imagine life without you. Happy Birthday Nolan boy!

one year

[your fave place to play]

[your wild hair]

Nolan-

You are one year old today! I can't even believe it. Is it really time for me to start thinking about baby number three? Flip. You have made me a tad gun shy little boy! I need to regain my sanity a little and have a few nights of uninterrupted sleep.

You finally stopped nursing last week and since then you have slept through the night 3 or 4 times. Thank you. I was beginning to lose hope, but really losing hope in no one but myself. I hate that I am such a sucker! You would cry and I would jump out of bed to rescue you, every single night. It was so much easier for me to swoop you up and cuddle/nurse you in my bed.

Now that we are done nursing you still wake occasionally and I still bring you into bed with me. Now it's strictly cuddling and I am okay with that. You just don't sleep well little man! You wake to every little noise. You could be dead asleep in the car (and SO ready for a nap) and you wake the MINUTE we turn the car off. You still get rocked to sleep but nowadays if you wake when we lay you down, you get to cry it out. You scream an awful, hurt little scream but you eventually get over it. You are more mad than anything.

Nolan, you are super fun. You make super funny noises and faces. When you don't have shirt on, you walk around the house slapping your belly. You constantly say 'yaaaaaa-ya' to every question we ask you. It is down right hilarious. You are always searching for bare skin to blow raspberries on. You also find different surfaces in the house to blow on until they make the raspberry noise that you love. You will try something and move onto something else until you find a spot that works. You also pinch, bite and give indian burns. You really are a physical boy and you really do hurt us! Between the pinching and pulling hair you have us all yelling "ouch!" many times a day. It's mostly funny but sometimes it kills me!

You are a pro walker, you book it everywhere you go. You constantly try to run into the street or go somewhere you aren't supposed to. Like the stairs at Mema's house. You very much like to push the boundaries while laughing and smiling about it. Makes me a titch nervous! You are super strong willed, way more than your brother. Yikety yikes!!

You are extremely loving. You give bear hugs and sloppy kisses often. You are very into physical contact, you need it. You are a tried and true Momma's boy. You very much prefer me over Daddy.

You are starting to throw fits by the front door when someone comes in or goes out and doesn't let you outside. You have also started bringing me your shoes like Griff used to do. You are obsessed with Dog's. You love them. Mema and Pepa's dog, Bear, is your best buddy. You two love each other! When we drive to Mema's house and you know we are close, you start squealing and saying "bearbearbearbearbear" over and over again. It is the sweetest thing to hear! Every dog you see is named Bear.

Nolan, No-no, Nones, No-nie, Nolo, Manolo, we love you. You have made our family feel so complete! You are the sweetest, funniest little man. You eye's are so sweet and your thighs are out of control chubby. You make us all so happy. Happy First Birthday!


[being cute and blowing raspberries]

regrets.....

I want to turn my blog into a book SOMEDAY. Do I have time? Heck no. I don't have time for anything to be honest. I am drowning in motherhood and keeping up with being a good wife. Am I the only one??? Blah. I need a hobby or a getaway asap.

As I have thought about turning my blog into a book I have gone back to read some of my old blog posts. I have regrets about some of my posts and some things I have said. I don't want my blog to be one of "those" blogs that make people feel bad about themselves. I really, truly don't! I don't want to make anyone {yes you Linds!} think my life is perfect and always happy because it isn't. So dang far from it.

All I want to do is use this blog to journal fun happenings, useful stories and milestones. I hope that my blog posts don't make anyone feel bad or make people think my life is hunky dory all the time. It's NOT. I have my issues, believe me :) I am not crafty, I don't like to cook (I DESPISE it and I hate that about myself), sometimes being a Mom makes me want to run away and hide, I don't have a perfectly clean and decorated house, sometimes we run out of undies because I get so behind on laundry, sometimes my kids walk all over me, I bend over backwards to make sure they are happy (is that the same as spoiling? probably), I have no clue how to do my hair or dress cute and matchy-matchy. You name it. I am not perfect. Not one bit.

So please don't think that I am and I will try not to write posts trying to convince anyone otherwise.

This rambling post boils down to feeling like a FOOL about some posts that I have written in the past. That's all :)

Buzz in Front

This cute boy insists on wearing his undies backwards so he can see the characters when he looks down. I despise character undies....character anything. Blah. But whatever makes him happy, I will do {or buy}! So, instead of battling it out everyday I have decided that I don't really care how he wears his underwear. Looks mighty uncomfortable to me but he wins this one.

Here's to character undies!! {which happen to be Toy Story at the moment} And oh my heavens, we are having a Toy Story themed party in October. Luckily Nolan doesn't have a say in his party theme so I am enjoying planning his.

Look at those bunzies....and that face!

az

{8/26 to 8/30}
::nolan loving the pool and big backyard::



::got to see my pop's for one hour::



Hurried to AZ to see my Grandma who had fallen really ill. Didn't want to have any regrets. When I got there she was doing much better. So glad. Happy I got to see her regardless. She isn't perfectly well so this trip could have been my last goodbye. Really hope not.


Loved spending quality time with my Momma and brother (my lucky daddy was living it up in NYC) and loved the alone time with Nolan. Griff had fun staying home in Utah with Daddy and Mema. Griff and I talked daily and every time we talked he "needed to talk to Mema Zona." He would chat both of our ears off. Got to a point where we had to say "Okayloveyoubye!" and hang up real quick. The kid didn't want to stop talking. Kason told me that one of the times we hung up on him he said "hey they hung up on me." I felt so bad!


My Mom and I had fun chatting and shopping. She is a shopaholic so you gotta love that! We hit up all of our faves. Once again....Forever 21, I love you. Ate some yummy foods, made some yummy healthy meals, did some fun crafts and saw my fab friends (I miss you girls. Sniff). Got obsessed with a new kind of food storage called Foodwise. Really might open a franchise here with my Momma! Thinking her and I would make a great team!


Just a great trip all around. It was fun to escape the responsibilities of home and sleep in my childhood bed. It was actually a really good break from life for me. Thanks Momma. You are such a good pal! Love you.

~the BiG 2-9~

{august 30}



Happy Birthday to my lovely hubby! So sorry I was in Arizona for your birthday and I didn't bake you a cake. Love how you told me how bummed you were about that a few days later. Love how I felt terrible and got my booty in the kitchen (with Griff's help) and baked you your fave cake! Love love love you!

Wake Up Call

A friend of mine from Arizona is in the hospital with complications due to Cystic Fibrosis. She is nearing the age of life expectancy for this particular disease and her life is coming to a close shortly. She is around my age, has a loving husband and twin one year old daughter's. She is the nicest, strongest person I have ever met.

She entered the hospital about a month ago with some issues and the doctors have done everything imaginable. The drugs and treatments just aren't working for her. My friends Aunt set up a website to keep everyone informed on Jen's condition. Her Aunt has been amazing about updating it daily. The last few posts about Jen's condition haven't been good, they scared me, really. I would get nervous every time I went to check on the latest. Yesterday Jen was able to post and this is what she wrote:

My dearest family and friends... it's Jen...

Before I go any further, I want to thank Diana for setting this up for me. I am so grateful you all can be informed on how things are progressing.

As many of you have heard news about how I am doing... taking baby steps, high numbers, low numbers, it really has come down to how I am feeling. The truth is, not good.

After speaking with my doctors, Dan, and praying more then I could have ever imagined, I have decided to leave the hospital tomorrow and go into a hospice facility. The truth is the drugs are not working, and I am only getting sicker. Checking into a hospice facility is the only way I am going to be able to spend some time with my girls, family, and yes, dogs.

I have a peace surrounding me about this decision, and know that it is the right thing to do. I thank you all for your prayers, you have all been the best prayer warriors out there. Now it is my turn, you will all have someone praying for you from above.

I want to also thank Dan who has been at my bedside as much as possible, with juggling the rest of our life. He is the love of my life and will always be with me.

When Dan was not here at the hospital, my mom has been with me every moment for the last half of my hospital stay. It has been wonderful spending these days with her.

While I have also been in the hospital my Dad, aunt Julie, Dan's Parents and siblings have also come out to show their support... all of which has made this decision that much easier.

I know with all of your love and support Dan and our girls are going to be in great hands, and I thank all of you in advance.

I love you all and will be watching from afar.

Love, Jen

This post gave me chills and brought tears to my eye's. It still does every time I read it. Her strength amazes me. I can't imagine making the decision her and her family have made. I can't imagine knowing exactly when my life is coming to a close and having to savor every last bit of it. Not to mention having to say goodbye to my children, husband and family.

I need to quit whining about my life, my kids, money issues, etc. I need to be a big girl and get over all of the silly stuff that plagues me sometimes. My life is so easy compared to others lives.

This has been a huge wake up call me for me. Huge.

::Jen passed away September 7th::

Park City

{august 20-23}




Took a super fun little trip with the family to Park City. Rode the Heber Creeper, ate some yummy food, shopped the most amazing outlets ever, rode on a roller coaster down a mountain, did the Alpine Slide, soaked it up in a jacuzzi with my man and just enjoyed being with family.

LOVE the diversity in Park City. All walks of life hang out there. Reminds me of home and reminds me of so many of my friends. I love people just being people, being themselves and being different. I loved walking up and down the streets of Park City, people watching to my hearts content! Even though I was usually pushing a cute little munchkin in the stroller. Just loved it.

Dying to go back without the kiddos!

Conversation with Griff

Me: Hey Griff, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Griff: Just a Kasondilla, Mom.

handy manny

Yep, that's her nickname. And no, she is not a little mexican handy man.

Our lifesaver/babysitter is leaving us in one week. Boo. For THREE months!

Maddy is amazing and is going to do some service at an orphanage in Ecuador. Doing what she does best.

Maddy's other nickname is the baby whisperer. She is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to those sweet little Ecuadorians.

We love you and will miss you terribly, Manny!

Hasta ahora!