Bye Bye 2009!

I can't believe this year is already over! I need to make some resolutions but I have a love/hate relationship with those. I always make them and never accomplish them, agh! I have a few things on my mind that I need to work on....actually a few hundred things. Way too overwhelming for me! My resolutions are all related to self improvement. The list is never-ending for me so I feel totally buried. One thing at a time I guess. I want to be a better wife, mom, daughter and sibling. I read my patriarchal blessing today and it confirmed to me the things I need to focus on and work harder at. Of course I want to lose my last few pregnancy pounds, start running again, etc. But those things will come in time if I can ever FIND the time.

This year has been a tough one economically but somehow we managed to slide through it with no problem. We feel blessed by steady work and having a house to call our own. I have seen so many people get stuck in a bind and lose their homes this year so we are thankful to have our little casa. Now that we are pretty sure we are staying here, time to fix it up and make it cute!

I will be turning thirty this year as well! Where has the time gone?? I still feel so young! When I look at Griffin and Nolan I can't believe they are both mine. When Griff calls me "Mom" I sometimes do a double take! I am so excited to see what this year has in store for our little family. Happy New Year everyone! So excited to see what things unfold in family and friends lives as well. Cheers!

Christmas 2009

I have never been much for Christmas, I have NO idea why :/ I have always loved the meaning of course but actual Christmas has always plagued my mind. Since having kids Christmas have become so much more special to me. I was hesitant about the whole Santa thing, not that I considered not doing it though, I wouldn't rob my kids of that! I do remember when I found out Santa wasn't real I put the pieces together and realized that all of the other magical "people" that I loved (like the tooth fairy, I adored her! She even left me a beautiful dress once) weren't real and I was crushed. I felt somewhat betrayed even at that young age. Of course I got over it eventually.

I have to say that I enjoyed playing Santa so much! I loved telling Griff all about how Santa flies through the air with the help of reindeer and he rides on a sleigh packed full of presents. I told him that Santa climbs down the chimney and comes out of the fireplace to leave presents, fill our stockings and eat cookies. I would cringe while telling these little white lies but I honestly loved it. Griffin seemed to grasp the concept so well. Can't wait for next year!

We got a real tree this year but decided not to go and cut it down ourselves :( It was really cold and snowy where we would normally go so we opted for a good old Home Depot tree and it was a beauty! I can't even begin to imagine having a fake tree because growing up we always had a real tree. I can't get enough of the fresh pine smell. Love it. Our tree was decorated with silver and blue ornaments and blue lights. I am so not a Christmas tree decorating fanatic so it looked very simple and plain, just how I like it!

My whole family came this year minus one. It was a lot of fun to see my Dad and brother who I haven't seen in a while. Most of our time was spent talking and relaxing. It was a lot of fun to have everyone here! Of course we all got some great gifts which we are thankful for. Silly Kason bought me stuff after we had agreed not to. Poor guy. I followed the rules and only got him some stocking stuffers! We got some nice gifts from my parents and of course Griff got some amazing stuff. Lucky boy to have two sets of Grandparents to pick up our slack on the present buying! On Christmas morning we had a Caterpillar train set up for him and we turned it on before he went into the front room. He could hear it going and wondered what it was. Needless to say he was SO mesmerized when he saw that little train going around and around.

I have decided that I do love Christmas after all. I LOVE the meaning and I love the giving. I would rather 'give' than 'get' any day. We adopted a family this year and we delivered the gifts on Christmas Eve to two of the cutest, sweetest little girls I have ever seen. It made my night. Merry Christmas everyone!

PS What is Kason's face doing in this pic? And Griff too. Haha.

Nolan's Blessing

Nolan's blessing was very low key compared to Griff's and I kind of feel bad about it! No one was really invited and I didn't even buy the little guy a proper outfit! He wore an all white GAP sleeper. Oh well, it was an easy going event and I quite enjoyed it being that way. My Mom came into town for his blessing and then that evening we went to the Pead's for a yummy dinner. Kason gave Nolan a very sweet blessing and he had a lot of people in his little circle. We love you Nolan, so much! We are so thankful that you joined our little family. You fit in perfectly, we wouldn't trade you for anything!

Christmas Activities

Silly Griff

Griffin decided to put these pieces from his tractor on Nolan's eye's {poor baby} and then wanted them on his. Hilarious.

Big Boy is 3 Months!

This little one is darling. I love him to bits and pieces. For those that have 2 or more...do you love your little one's in a different way, no more or less than the other, just different? Make sense? I adore Griff, he made me a Mommy! But I also adore Nolan in a different way than I do Griff. I love him for the unique little person that he is. I love him because he is my second and I am so much more secure and confident. I feel like I know what I am doing this time around. The first 1-2 months with Nolan were somewhat challenging but it feels like cake now. I DO have those days where I want to slither into my bed and die, believe me. But all in all, transitioning to 2 has been pretty breezy. Now the thought of having a third, a total different story. I am terrified! But we will cross that bridge when we get there...

Nolan:
-has nasty gas. stinky and loud.
-nasty poops that reek.
-has the sweetest smile, smiles with his eye's.
-sleeps through the night, thank heavens.
-takes a few cat naps and one 4 hour nap a day.
-giggles and coo's a ton!
-major momma's boy.
-hates bottles but were getting there, slowly.
-when he is awake he eats every 2 hours. total pig.
-likes his brother but flinches constantly when he's around.
-still a big old boy.
-wears size 3 diapers, Griff wears 4's. you get the picture.

We love you Nolan boy! You are the sweetest!

Right Where He Belongs...

Sitting like a blob on the couch!

Christmas 2009

I think we are all ready for Christmas! Shopping is done, stockings are hung! Been telling Griff all about Santa Claus and baby Jesus. Very intrigued by Santa Claus and thinks Nolan is baby Jesus, a tad confused :) but that's okay. It does feel special having a sweet baby at this time of year. Very thankful for everything I have. Thankful to have a nice home and grateful to have money to buy gifts. Kason and I agreed to not buy anything for each other this year. We are feeling blessed enough through simple things like having jobs that provide for our family and having a newer, more reliable vehicle. We feel so blessed. We are also thankful to have two healthy little boys who we love dearly. Merry Christmas to family and friends! We love each and every one of you!

I Hope...

......that this cute little buster has curly hair! I can't believe I am wishing curly hair on my big, masculine boy but one of my kids better get it, why not Nolan? Kason has some luscious locks so someone better end up with them.

Um Ya....

Thankful....

I am thankful for so many things right now. So many simple things. But what I am most thankful for is family. Period. Because sometimes at the end of the day that is all you have.

Look Alikes?

Griffin-top pictures and Nolan-bottom pictures

LOVE Being So Close To This

Love this stunning temple. Love the fact that I got married here to my best friend. Love that I have found solace in this place so many times. Love that I don't even have to go inside to find it {although I would rather go inside more than I do} Love that Griffin loves this place too. Love that it is our chance to talk about Heavenly Father and Jesus.

2 Months

Can't believe my baby is 2 months, actually I can. Weird that time seems slower this time around! I swear time flew by with Griff and it honestly depressed me. It's funny, I am actually wanting Nolan to get bigger and get to be more fun! I am so excited at the thought of him and Griff playing together. I can't stop picturing them and getting excited for it all.

Nolan is still a BIG ol' boy weighing in at 14 pounds (87%) and is 23.5 inches long (60%). He has an average sized noggin so that's good! He smiles a ton, coo's and giggles. He LOVES his play mat because it has toys, music and lights. He also loves to lay in his crib and watch his mobile go around and around. He smiles and laughs at it. It is soooo sweet. He seems like a gentle, sensitive little guy and I love these things about him. He is a true Momma's boy and loves to cuddle and nurse. He still sleeps with us of course and we both love it. He goes back and forth between sleeping through the night and waking once. Hooray for that! He is so fat that he should be able to go without and sleep through the night. Haha.

We love this little blue eyed, brown haired cutie!

I Love Progression Pics

My good friend Meagan from the good old days in Provo came by for a visit. I love this girl so it was so much fun to see her! Her and her husband Larry try to stop by whenever they are in town or when they are driving through. We have been friends for about 10 or 11 years now, wow. We have been through a lot together and have seen each other go through many phases of our lives. We have lived together, seen each other date great guy's and losers, watched each other get married, been pregnant together, etc. Thanks for visiting Meg's. Love you tons!! Enjoy the pics :) Wish I had some on my computer of the Provo college days. Love ya!

My New Ride

Kason surprised me the other day by bringing home this new vehicle :) We had previously looked at it and then decided not to buy it. We were both bummed but decided that we could get more use out of my little car. Granted we were completely squished in it. Griff's feet touched the back of the drivers seat and of course he would kick as we drove. Nolan was in the middle because that was the only spot his car seat would fit. If we put him behind the passenger seat, the seat would have to be moved way up almost to the point where that person's knees touched the dash. It was kind of a joke! Not to mention the double stroller took up the whole trunk! While my Mom was here she talked about us needing a bigger car because if we crashed "we would all die." She cracks me up, we so think alike! I was always nervous carrying my precious cargo in that tiny car! So, we are extremely happy and grateful to have this nice, new car. We all feel much safer!

2 Years Old and Almost 2 Months Old

I am having so much fun with my two little boy's. I feel like I am fully adjusted to having 2 kids now. I am much busier of course but I don't feel so overwhelmed now. I feel great! What the boy's are like at 2 years old and (almost) 2 months old:

Nolan:
-Fat as can be! Huge double chin and 3 huge thigh rolls. Love it!
-Weighed 13 pounds at 6 weeks, Griff weighed 13 pounds at 2 months!
-Wearing mostly 3-6 month clothing.
-Has huge love handles, see pic.
-Wears size 2 diapers.
-Got the nickname Bubba from the nurses when he was born. When he was in the hospital a few weeks ago the pediatric nurses also called him Bubba. TOO funny.
-Great eater but gets lazy and chokes on my milk quite often. Funny boy.
-LOVES to sleep on his tummy, yikes.
-Has gorgeous blue eye's that I hope he keeps!
-Cute, long brown hair. Curly when wet. Fingers crossed for a curly haired boy!
-Doesn't love the car or his car seat. He is fine when the car is moving, flips when we stop.
-Loves sleeping in Mommy's bed and cuddling.
-Sleeps through the night almost every night, good boy! If he does wake to nurse he goes right back to sleep. Heaven.
-Doesn't love the bouncer or swing. Likes the Lazy Boy and loves to be held.
-Cuddly as can be.
-Hates having a poopy diaper.
-Loves baths.
-Knows how to scream, unlike Griff ever did. I love it though for a change. It's cute!

Griffin:
-Tells me to put Nolan is his bouncer or swing.
-Wipes Nolan's spit up off of his face.
-Knows where all of the baby stuff is so that he can bring me stuff and help out.
-Tells Nolan to get bigger and walk, everyday. Kid can't wait to play with his brother!
-When we ask him to do something he says "No"...followed by "Just Kidding, Mom".
-He loves to say "I don't know" when we ask him questions.
-Loves to say "Griffin do it" about everything. Drives us bonkers.
-Still loves his blue blanket and is obsessed with having his fingers in the tag.
-Nolan has the same blanket now and he tries to put Nolan's fingers in the tag too.
-Working on his colors, shapes and numbers but doesn't have a ton of interest.
-Still trying with potty training. He sits on his potty and tells me to turn the water on to help him pee pee. Hilarious.
-Sings Twinkle Twinkle to Nolan.
-Uses big words like..something, remember and different. Cracks us up.
-When he really wants something he asks in a squeaky, high pitched voice.
-Knows the names of a ton of tools and the names of tractors. Like loader, bull dozer, grader, digger, forklift. I am assuming this kid will be driving tractors for a living.

I am loving being a Mommy to these cute little boy's. I am loving Nolan at this stage because he is getting so cute and really showing his personality. I am glad that the "newborn" stage is over. Don't love it. He still cuddles but it feels sweeter and more real now that he is older. I am excited to watch him grow into a cute little boy that can play with his brother. They are going to have so much fun together, I just know it. If I were younger and we had more money I would have lots and lots of kids! But one more sounds good to me. Two more sounds even better but don't tell Kason I said that.

Halloween With Two Cuties

We had a great Halloween with our 2 boy's. It is super crazy to have 2 kids now to dress up and have fun with. My Mom ("Mema Zona" as Griff says) sent Nolan a super cute pumpkin costume and Griff borrowed a frog costume from a friend. They both looked so cute! It was more fun now that Griff is older and kind of gets the concept. We had been talking about Halloween for weeks and had been practicing saying Trick or Treat! We went to Mema and Pepa's house for some adorable mummy hotdogs, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Yum! We took a bunch of pictures and then went trick or treating to some of the neighbors houses. The rest of the night Griff handed out candy to the kids that came trick or treating at Rob and Lisa's house. It was so much fun! Griff also got a visit from his good buddy Alek. It was such a nice, relaxing night with family.

My Name All Over It

I found this on a friend's blog and it really spoke to me and basically screamed my name. It was taken from c jane enjoy it.

"On a walk this morning I ran into my neighbor Lucinda. I love Lucinda because she skips small talk and just serves the meat. This morning as we strolled by she asked me how I was feeling. After I responded, she went into a thoughtful expedition about the female journey.

"There is a point where a girl becomes a woman." She said. A point where a woman becomes a female warrior. Where her life is no longer a game, it is a genuine battle. Not to survive only, but to survive and be strong.

The thought swallowed me.

Because lately I've wondered about myself. Where has my youth gone? Suddenly, I don't feel the charms of my twenties, or even earlier thirties. Something inside of me has fundamentally changed when I didn't even know it. But I feel it.

I find myself wanting to fight. Fight for simplicity. Fight for truth. Fight for a daily thirty-minute nap/ quiet time. Because if I don't fight, things get complicated. They get confusing. I don't get a nap. Fear camouflages faith and things get really messy . . . unless I fight.

I think I must be transitioning over the threshold, because I still find myself embarrassed for what I lack. My jokes were funnier, I was clever-er, my ability to keep it all together was intact . . . back then. But now I am in that awkward stage where I am not secure in becoming WOMAN, although there She is, ready to hand me a sword to cut through crap.

Crappy ideas, crappy expectations, crappy use of time or money or resources, crappy things I want (really, really want) but certainly don't need, crappy behavior, crappy situations I put myself into, crappy doubts.

And here is the mashed potatoes to go with Lucinda's meat: when I hear women say "I used to be this or that" or "My brain has gone to mush because . . ." because they've had babies, or because they've devoted their lives to other people, or because they've crossed the line of girl to woman, I always think It won't happen to me. Please, don't let it happen to me. But I see now how it happens. Big dreams seem too distracting, physical energy turns into spiritual examination, gray hairs appear. You change, dang it, you just do.

But perhaps it is all in the wording:

My ability to be clever has turned itself into an ability to be wise.

I have trained my brain to assess the needs of others before my own.

My charm comes from not feeling pressure to be charming.

I prefer the simple life. The life I have now.

And I know I won't always have to fight. At some point it will be in my nature to be a secure, confidant woman without the battle cry. Today though, I like to feel the weapon in my hands, ready to unleash it upon all stupidity.

As for the threshold, I wonder. For me, it isn't pregnancy, or having a baby, or near-death experiences of loved ones (though I am sure they push). It has been a quiet, God-guided transition that I've underappreciated. Until today."

Thanks Krista and thanks Lucinda!

2nd Birthday Party

For Griff's birthday he went 4 wheeling with Mema, Pepa and Daddy and he had a BLAST. He didn't get home until his actual birthday so I had some balloons in his bedroom and gifts from family that he could open. The next day we had cake and ice cream at our house, super low key! The only friends we had come over were Jeremy and Kim because they love Griff and we love them! Lisa, Maddy and Nicole came and it was a nice little night. I wouldn't normally buy a cake but Lisa had told me about a 4 wheeler cake that she had seen at the store so I HAD to get it :) Griffin absolutely loved it!

Jumped The Gun?

I truly do not think that little Nolan has H1N1. As I sat in the hospital and listened to the nurses and my doctor I was able to put a few things together in my mind. He tested positive for Type A flu which includes the swine flu but also some other forms of the flu. Since H1N1 is so rampant they had to "assume" that is what he had and be on the safe side and admit him. I guess they admit anytime a baby that young has a fever. The nurses would come in and get all suited up to care for Nolan and sometimes a nurse would forget and come walking in without protection. Then another nurse would tell her to suit up "in case" it IS H1N1. Then I asked my doctor if Nolan's diarrhea is a symptom of swine flu and he said NO. Last week Griff had a temperature on and off for a few days and then it led into him having diarrhea for about 4 or 5 days. But the whole time he had it he seemed fine. Maybe a tad out of it and he didn't eat much. He still ran around and played though! Griff also had a clear runny nose and a light cough (he would only cough every few hours)I think the cough had to do with the draining of the runny nose into his throat. Nolan woke up with a temperature Saturday morning and that is the day we admitted him. Since then he has had ALL of the symptoms that Griff had. He is being super happy and normal but he has had diarrhea for a few days. He has NO swine flu symptoms! Now that leads me to worry because Nolan could still get the H1N1 virus if this isn't it. Obviously we are going to continue to be careful and not take him in public, etc. We will still not be getting the H1N1 vaccination though. I am going to see my Doc today so I am sure I will get more answers on this. I have a gut feeling that I am right though!

Update: Doc B is still pretty sure it is the pig flu that Nolan has. He said he has seen super mild cases and some severe one's. So, it might mean that whatever Griff had was also the swine flu? I don't know. I am so stinkin' skeptical but I always am about a lot of things. Nolan is still doing fine and is as happy as can be! Maybe we caught it early enough, maybe Pepa's blessing helped, maybe the Tamiflu...I don't know but we are happy he is okay either way.

One Crazy Week

We have had a super crazy drama filled week! Kason brought the swine flu home from his 4 wheeling trip with his family. Pretty sure Klint had it but we wouldn't have known it the day they left! Everyone seemed fine and healthy :)Oh well! These things can hit hard and fast! So Kason and Griff were exposed to H1N1 most likely on that trip. Griff never got it (crossing my fingers) but Kason got it really bad. It comes on very fast and is accompanied by a fever and severe body aches. Then it kind of goes into respiratory type symptoms and even some GI stuff. Kason is just now kind of feeling better but it has almost been a whole week of him being way sick. Poor guy.

Needless to say Griff and I have stayed healthy but poor little Nolan got it :( As soon as I noticed him with a fever I took him to see Doc B. He looked him over very thoroughly before deciding to admit him. His rapid test for H1N1 came back positive at his office as well as at the hospital after we got there. The hospital stay went okay. Nolan was a sad baby and they did a lot of awful, ouchie things to him. I left the room for all of them. Poor kid doesn't have a supportive Mommy when it comes to that stuff. But I was always there to rescue him as soon as they were done. The staff was great to us and took such good care of Nolan. The nurses had to get all suited up to come into the room. Bodies covered, masks on. I talked with a lot of the nurses about how many of their friends, family members and even themselves have had the swine flu. We talked about how it is being hyped up big time by the media, I agree. I have a feeling it has something to do with politics and our presidents ideas for health care but we won't go there ;)

Anyway, Nolan is home and fine. He is sick but he is taking something to keep him from getting sicker and I am on the same thing to prevent myself from getting sick. I need to be well to take care of my family! Nolan had 2 visitors in the hospital :) Maddy and Pepa. Maddy was my choice for the only visitor that Nolan was allowed to have and Pepa got a special exception (they let "church" people in for things like blessings, prayers, the sacrament) to be there so that he could give Nolan a Grandfather's blessing. It was a sweet blessing and it made both of us feel better. Maddy held Nolan while I took a much needed walk around the temple grounds and while I went to the "family room" at the hospital to receive the sacrament. Both were much needed after how hard this week has been for me. My next post will be something happy, Griff's little birthday party!

Oh and my little fat boy is almost 13 pounds and he is 23 inches long! Gained almost 4 pounds since birth (wow) and has grown 3 inches in not even six weeks, crazy!

2 Year Stats

Head: 19.33 inches (62%tile)
Weight: 29 lbs (63%tile)
Height: 34.5 inches (54%tile)

So, Griff is growing good! Wish his height percentile was higher. Ha. We calculate him to be 5 foot 9! Here's to hoping!