So really. Not getting a full night's sleep for several months has taken it's toll. A BIG toll. I feel like my sweet little life is falling apart little by little. This might sound a tad dramatic but it's 100% true. I am not a happy person, not a good mom, not an awesome sweet wife or all around good person because of my lack of sleep. Can you say depression? Ya. I went to my doc yesterday for a check up and to chat about a few things and I had a complete meltdown. It wasn't a pretty sight. Not.At.All. He was concerned and nice but the look on his face when I cried was one of complete horror. Poor guy. But really, he was sweet and nice and made me feel better for a moment. Ha. Love my doctor. Doesn't hurt a bit that he is good lookin'! Sorry Kason. You know this already.
Nolan is absolutely killing me. My life feels a shambles. It really truly does. I have tried a few little things to get him to sleep but I haven't tried wholeheartedly. Not one bit. Time for me to get tough. Time for me to not be suckered by the saddest most abandoned sounding cry I have ever heard. Doesn't help that crying it out just doesn't work with him. The kid will cry til the cow's come home. It can't be good. I have anxiety every night as I crawl into bed knowing that in a short hour or less, I will be waking up to a crying babe. And then every two or three hours after that. Every time I walk into the kid's room he is kicking and smiling. So happy to see me. What is that?
He isn't hungry. I know he isn't. I feed him a jar of baby food RIGHT before bed and I nurse him. Lately, he has been getting a dose of Motrin for teething and that stuff doesn't even phase him. Motrin used to knock Griffin out til morning. Oh how I wish! I would think Nolan died or got kidnapped if he slept through the night. I think he is just a terrible sleeper in general. He sleeps so lightly and gets woken up by every little sound. Killer when you have a noisy 2 year old. Ahh.
A few things I have been looking into are this and this. I wish I would have ordered the teething necklace several weeks ago when I first starting looking because it would be shipping from Europe. Don't think I can stand to wait that long. The sleep aide is something I might just try! I am telling you, I am desperate. Money is no object! Well...
I fully believe that if I could sleep at least 5 or 6 hours straight every night I would feel much better. I have always prided myself on being able to function on little sleep but night after night after night after night? Nope. I feel like I am darn near losing my mind. Thankfully I have the entire summer off starting yesterday. Time for me to get the kiddos on a good schedule and make lots of summer plans. Swim lessons, Toddler Time at the library and much more!
I want to enjoy my time off and enjoy my kids but that just isn't going to happen when I am dead to the world tired. Didn't even have it in me to shower today, didn't go to the grocery store, didn't cook dinner, didn't even leave the house til 6:30pm and it was to pick up takeout, ugh. So not me.
Sleep. Uninterrupted sleep. I hope we meet soon. Very very soon. If not, I am afraid I will end up in a looney bin.
No comments:
Post a Comment