{testimony}

My testimony has been wavering a bit lately and my faith a little low. I can't really explain why. I think it's a combination of a lot of little things. A lot of it has to do with not feeling like I am the perfect Mom, not having complete balance in my life, not feeling good enough, pretty enough, fit enough, not having a clean enough house...you name it.

Yesterday was just plain rotten. Griffin was so hard and really testing our patience. He spent half of the afternoon and evening in his room and went to bed without dinner. It was a terrible day and although Mother's Day was just a few days ago, I was questioning my role as a mother.

I decided to kneel down and pray really hard last night about being a Mom. I prayed for guidance with Griffin and to gain some knowledge about what needed to be done to help him. I prayed that I would stop questioning myself as a mother and as a person.

I am usually so confident but this parenting thing has shaken my confidence just a tad. I usually don't care what other parents (or Mom's) are doing and how they are doing it but lately I have been questioning every little thing. It's no good and I know that! Kason has had to talk some sense into me every once and a while. Poor guy.

So after my evening run and after my prayer I felt a little bit better. I remember thinking to myself that the answers might come slowly and that I needed to be patient.

Lo and behold this morning I had an email from a long time friend. This friend has known me for a really long time {since childhood}. Her and I have seen each other through many years and life changes and she has grown to be an amazing woman. Her and I used to be little heathen's! Her email was an answer to my prayers. Never have I seen an answer so fast and one so concrete. There it was, in writing, right in front of my face. Without getting into too much detail, she basically let me know that she was proud of me and that she thinks I am a great Mom.

Her email strengthened me immeasurably. I can't thank her enough for being in tune with the spirit and for saying the things she did. It was as if she had been sitting right there with me as I prayed. My testimony of prayer is so strong now. It was just the perfect little boost that I needed in my life. Thank you, friend. You know who you are. Love love love you.